Ubiquitous, means to be omnipresent: being present everywhere at once. Communication is the act of exchanging meaning. From the ever present mobile phone, to email, to platforms like facebook and twitter, we are connected by social technologies.

What is the quality of our connection in a ubiquitous environment.  Can we communicate our  authentic self ?   To demonstrate this point, compare reading a web profile with speaking to someone face to face. Can you look into their eyes, see their body language or  make assumptions from the clothes they are wearing?

Communicating through a common platform   promotes  normalization and uniformity.  Our web profiles contain similar information in a neatly organized form.   We are relieved from choosing how to express who we are as individuals.   Conversation  is replaced with superficial exchanges and chatter.  What is missing is a genuine cognition of that which is being communicated.

So how can we get our message across in an environment where each email, video, image, status update, article and sound byte blends in with the rest of the white noise?

The answer is to maintain a consistency in our message. Not only in the message itself  but also in the way the message is conveyed.   What do our messages say about us?  Are we abrasive and self focused or courteous and respectful of others? Our communications need to consistently reflect  how we wish to be perceived – because in a world with ubiquitous communication they are how we are percieved.

The term Chaordic was coined by Dee Hock the founder and former CEO of the VISA credit card association. He says:

“By Chaord, I mean any self–organizing, adaptive, non-linear, complex system, whether physical, biological, or social, the behavior of which exhibits characteristics of both order and chaos or, loosely translated to business terminology, cooperation and competition”

Most employees have flexible, informal or autonomous aspects of their work such as work hours, information sharing or responsibility for assignments.  Examining how a team currently self manages these tasks  provides insight  into  the underlying organizing principles, intention and relationship dynamics within the group.

Following the principles of the Chaordic design:

• The activities must be equitably owned by all participants. No member should have intrinsic preferential position. All advantage must result from individual ability and initiative.
• Power and function must be distributive to the maximum degree. No function should be performed by any part of the whole that could reasonably be done by any more peripheral part, and no power vested in any part that
• might reasonably be exercised by any lesser part.
• Governance must be distributive. No individual, institution, and no combination of either or both should be able to dominate deliberations or control decisions.
• It must be infinitely malleable yet extremely durable. It should be capable of constant, self–generated, modification of form or function without sacrificing its essential nature or embodied principle.
• It must embrace diversity and change. It must attract people and institutions comfortable with such conditions and provide an environment in which they could flourish.

Successfully moving from control and command to flexible, self organized work teams requires the intention and ability of each individual to understand the principles as outlined  above by Dee Hock and  apply them in a fashion that releases human ingenuity for the benefit of all.

To cope with changes and differences when they arise,  trust, respect, participation and altruism need to be highly valued culturally norms.  It is the quality of human relationships that provides endurance during challenging times.

The altruistic  fashion in which these principles are applied,  from human being to human being, with  respect, trust, sharing and altruistic assistance create the fertile environment where a chaordic organization can flourish.  Learning about ourselves, our relationships with others and how our behavior shapes the whole is key.

It is for this reason that we have integrated into the Relationship Management Institute’s Learning Modules the values, principles and a guiding ethos that create organizational cultures that place human values in the forefront.

Respect, acceptance, and tolerance are all attitudes desirable in partners, colleagues and significant relationships.  They collectively have the  influence of making each of us feel esteemed, valued and worthy. Respect forms part of our principle value set and is a foundation upon which other values and measures of integrity are based.

The Respect Research Group, founded by several young scientists from different academic fields who wanted to create an environment of excellence for studying the pressing questions around the phenomon of respect, defines it as ‘an attitude of one human versus another, in which the first recognizes in the latter a reason which justifies in itself that the other should be recognized and treated in a way so that he/she feels acknowledged in value and significance’. Regardless of our individual values and convictions, it is paramount that the people around us treat us with respect, compassion and integrity and that we reciprocate in kind.

In 2007, a research team led by Oregon doctoral candidate, Eda Gurel-Atay, commissioned a survey in which 1,500 Americans were asked to rate the importance of eight social values, and to identify the one they considered most important. They compared the results with those from similar surveys taken in 1976 and 1986. Self-respect led the list in all three surveys, with a greater percentage of Americans ranking it as the most important value with each new survey. By 2007, 28.8 percent ranked it No. 1, compared to 21.1 percent in 1976 and 23.0 in 1986.

The basis for mutual respect is acknowledging, appreciating and reinforcing the values that are commonly identified as beneficial to any relationship, social or professional . The values of self-respect (“to be proud of yourself and confident in who you are”), security (“to be safe and protected from misfortune and attack”), warm relationships with others along a sense of accomplishment, self-fulfillment, being well-respected, a sense of belonging and fun were rated as significant.

A personal and/or cultural value is an absolute or relative ethical value, the assumption of which can be the basis for ethical action. A value system is a set of consistent values and measures. In today’s challenging business economy,  workable, trusting, professional associations with people, who know your business value and credentials, is a lot more valuable because of the referral relationship capital impact. Diverse workforces often challenge our cultural conditioning in relation to our views on gender, race, age and other religious persuasions, reflecting our personal prejudices. Harnessing the power of mutual respect and cross-cultural understanding is a sign of maturation and wisdom, emerging from internal scrutiny of a personal value set. Organisations who adopt cultural normatives that require common courtesies to be honoured amongst colleagues find that soft skill training does much to improve collegial relations. Neil Chalofsky’s article ‘Meaningful Workplaces; Reframing How and Where we Work’ has a chapter on Values-Based Organizational Culture that clearly identifies the benefits of respectful attitudes at work.

Picture courtesy of Johnson Controls: www.globalworkplaceinnovation.com
For The Smart Work Company: www.thesmartworkcompany.com

When it comes to taking soft skills seriously is that most bosses think they are just about ‘touchy-feely’ people skills. Soft skills are powerful in creating great workplace environments, happier relationships and better communications. Encompassing listening, sharing with clarity, heightened awareness, both personal and communal, we raise the bar on being self motivated and professionally respected as a value to any team. In a world where getting, keeping and succeeding at work is imperative, anything we invest in that can make us irreplaceable has to be worth learning. Good leaders are forged from the fire of engagement at every level of the business rockface. Great CEO’s build on the strength of their people. The dot’s aren’t difficult to connect.

Among Peggy’s important workplace lessons are the following:

•Knowing yourself is as important as knowing how to do the job.
•Learn when to stick and when to shift or the details will hang you.
•Your procrastination is trying to tell you something.
•Get smart about asking dumb questions.
•You don’t need to be everyone’s best friend—that’s what dogs are for.
•Know where to draw the line between self-improvement and self-destruction.
•When it comes to gossip, learn the art of deflection.
•Keep your visibility when you’re not face-to-face.
•Don’t take it personally.
•Stop stereotypes from sinking you.
•You’re the boss, stupid, that’s why they hang on your every word.

And, perhaps, most favorite of all: Get out of your own way.

Peggy Klaus reveals The Hard Truth About Soft Skills: Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They’d Learned Sooner (Collins, January 2008). Peggy is a world class communicator who understands why important soft core competencies are invariably ignored and reveals the fact that soft skills can be the key to enduring success.

Currently relationship management, across all it’s various attributions, is poorly understood and even more abysmally executed. If the current understanding of relationship management is simply to monitor and respond to negative commentary on your reputation, your brand, your business or your services, or to follow up and cross sell when the customer or client has fallen off your radar, this is no better than shutting the stable door long after the horse has bolted it. It’s about listening, responding, reciprocating, acknowledging, modeling ethics and values, everywhere you are or your business is active.

The value of building and maintaining a reputation built on the seven principles of human givens (accountability, boundaries, respect, responsibility, honesty, support and trust) means creating cooperative alliances and rewarding relationships. This cannot be short cut, avoided, undeserved or manipulated. We are each being held to account on our behaviours in regard to our commitments and on this we stand or fall in peer assessment.

There is no excuse now, given the quantity and quality of tracking technologies and social media assets, not to create a formidable and very manageable strategy to build and sustain quality relationships and use all positive testimonials, word of mouth recommendations and quality referrals to build personal and professional capital as well as business advantage. To fail to implement such a strategy is to be asleep at the wheel in a fast moving and competitive world.

This episode has brought into sharp clarity the need for full transparency and accountantability from politicians, who are, in fact, public servants, drawing very adequate salaries, backed up with substantial pensions. It is the opinion of the Relationship Capital Institute that politicans need to bring a new level of responsible governance that forges a renewed trust, for without it, both they and the public suffer crises that stymies positive recovery in a time of considerable recession and all suffer.

I suggest that they set up a department that educates politicians on what it is to create relationship capital and how the bedrock of values that resources the building of such a necessary quality will renew and restore the peoples trust.

Honesty

Webster’s defines honesty as honorable in principles, intentions and actions; sincere; frank; truthful. Honesty is the willingness to reveal your true motives. Honesty is similar to transparency, meaning full disclosure.

Honesty is a responsibility to yourself and to others. The foundation of your character cannot withstand the cracks of dishonesty. Every time you allow yourself to be dishonest, you weaken the strength of your character. Every crack reduces the strength of your foundation. Although a crack may be small today, it will eventually split the entire foundation.

Honesty does not change at home, work, or elsewhere. It is always the same. It is a way of thinking. People of honesty can hardly even imagine telling a lie. It’s just not in them. They have aligned themselves to the True God, and His life in them drives them to tell the truth. These people have a hard time believing that other people lie regularly, but they do!

Perceived Payoff:

Everyone does what they do because there is a perceived pay off. I use the word “perceived” because it is not necessarily true. An individual who is lazy has a perceived payoff. An individual who smokes perceives that the pleasure is worth the pain. Likewise, a dishonest individual lies or withholds truth because of the perceived payoff. In every case the payoff is immediate, but the negative costs are delayed. With a little foresight and wisdom, honesty becomes a much sweeter choice during trying times.

Truth always comes to the surface, if not in this lifetime, then in the next. And even if the truth never surfaces, the conscience is a constant, painful reminder. The murderer whose crime is never discovered may have gotten away from the law, but his memory torments him.

Half Truth – Full Lie:

People often lie to make themselves look better. Isn’t it interesting, though, that anyone we know who lies has a horrible reputation? Now, society doesn’t call this lying-it’s just stretching truth. It’s deceiving people without actually saying anything untrue. Nevertheless, honesty leaves no possibility for deception. Do you stretch the truth or hide revealing facts?

Although honesty may cost you in the beginning, you’ll experience the rewards in the end. The Scriptures tell us that the integrity of the righteous will deliver them.’

The message is in order to grow your reputation, you must be honest and be respectful. Nothing else will authentically draw people to do business with you or accelerate your success as much as these traits.

Managers at all levels also play an essential role in this process, because for their employees, their attitudes, personal values and communication styles represent an embodiment of the company’s philosophy. The problem is however, that in modern companies forming and popularizing such value-oriented philosophies, often gives way to short-term oriented action plans, which bring quick financial results at the price of undermining the stability of inter-personal relationships in the company and hence threaten its long-term success. In this respect, the importance of corporate culture cannot be overlooked any more and it is more than ever before necessary for the establishment of a rational, responsible and conscientious management.

Two large online surveys were conducted among employees in Germany to explore the importance employees and organizations lay on aspects of interpersonal respect in relation to other work values. The first study (N1 = 589) extracted a general ranking of work values, showing that issues of respect which involve supervisors are rated particularly high among employees. The second study (N2 = 373) replicated the previous value ranking by and large. However, it is shown that the value priorities indicated by employees are not always matched by organizational practices. Especially respect issues which involve employees’ supervisors diverge strongly negative. Consequences and potentials for change in organizations are discussed.

Values are generally seen as intrinsic and enduring perspectives individuals hold throughout different stages of their lifetime. They indicate “what a person consciously or subconsciously desires, wants, or seeks to attain “. Work values represent these sentiments in applied settings, signaling what people strongly care about at their work place. Following this definition, work values are somewhat similar to the valence term in expectancy models of motivation and are thus believed to have a substantial impact on the actual behavior shown at the workplace. They encourage individuals to act in certain ways, affecting even such things as job choice. Whereas commonly work values are assessed as people’s preferences for certain objects or outcomes, such as job security, level of payment and others, we sought to integrate interpersonal respect in this list of more or less classic work values.

The first kind points towards the general acknowledgement of another human, an equal member of the same group, referred to as “recognition respect” or respect for persons. The second kind is directed at an acknowledgement of expertise or skill, referred to as “appraisal respect” or respect for work. These two kinds, although both named respect, are very different in their essence. Recognition respect is very similar to the kind of respect the philosopher Kant proposed. It follows a categorical imperative to respect other human beings by not only seeing them as means to an end but also as an end in themselves. In an organization this respect may show in supervisors who do not only focus onto the performance aspect of their subordinates but are also compassionate or understanding in a time of a private crisis on behalf of the subordinate. They acknowledge that all humans deserve to be treated in the same way that one would want to be treated oneself. Its essence is thus unconditional. There is no question if it is deserved or not. It is not about a personal appreciation or favoring but about following a clear set of conventions, which give people equal rights even though they are different. Research underlined this reasoning by confirming formal rules in justice issues as one of the antecedents of recognition respect.

Appraisal respect on the other hand points at an entirely different phenomenon. It is about the esteem one receives if one performs, if one masters a skill, or one accomplished things that set one positively apart from the rest. So, whereas recognition respect involves a message of equality, appraisal respect does just the opposite. It acknowledges positives differences and rewards them with status. This kind of respect does not draw itself from a general normative law instead it derives its legitimacy from the perceived object itself; it or its actions demand respect.

Thus in an organizational setting appraisal respect might show itself in a supervisor who acknowledges work or performance, may it be through spoken recognition, a promotion, or a raise in salary. Similarly, employees who state that they work for a supervisor they deeply respect is usually a sign of appraisal respect. Whereas in empirical research recognition respect seems to be a result of formal rule following, appraisal respect seems to rely more on the informal treatment in justice concerns.

The following list of work values were those that were posed to the respondents, which encompassed more or less classical aspects of work values usually investigated in companies (such as the original IBM survey later used by Hofstede, 1991; or typical values assessed by consultancies:

(1) having high job security
(2) having a high income
(3) having good career opportunities
(4) working in a job that is valued by society
(5) having enough leisure time besides the job
(6) working on interesting tasks on the job
(7) being able to work independently
(8) working on tasks which require a high sense responsibility
(9) having a lot of direct contact with other people
(10) being able to help others through the job
(11)working in a job that is useful for society
(12) having the feeling to contribute something meaningful
(13) working in a healthy work environment.
(14) working for a supervisor who appreciates my work
(15) working with colleagues who appreciate my work
(16) working with colleagues who treat me with respect
(17)working for a supervisor who treats me with respect
(18) working for a supervisor I can respect
(19) working with colleagues I can respect

As an article written by Dan Bobinski, CEO of Workplace Excellence, in Management Issues highlights, if managers and leaders will not model the expected behaviors for the workplace community, its unlikely the rest of the employees will have any regard for community standards, either. Behaviours equally ought to reflect a commonality of agreed values for the workplace, irrespective of what individuals espouse outside of work.  Relationship Management Institute endeavours to create a ‘plug and play’ culture that enfranchises all employees under a set of principles that offends no one’s personal beliefs but allows a common concordance of cordial collaboration culturally.