Enculturing Soft Skills for Social Commerce

Trust is a valuable objective of our business relationships, it is the foundation of a sustainable marketplace.

Managing the quantity and quality of relationships and conversations on the web requires a sophistication of competencies. Whilst a combination of metrics, statistics, monitoring software reveal and manage trends, the ultimate arbiter of quality is trust and human engagement.

Social relationship management is about engaging in relevant conversations with clients, customers, prospects and brand champions. Essentially everyone is a customer of someone and the very experience of engaging with a brand be it in the real world or virtually, has a powerful underpinning sourced in experience and trust.

Relationship Management is most commonly associated with Customer Relationship Management (CRM).  The standard understanding of CRM is as a strategic business strategy which relate to techniques and methods for attracting and retaining customers.

According to Henk Akkermans, a co founder of Minase:

‘Most firms, especially in innovation-driven industries, operate as part of one or more supply networks. Here, they have to collaborate with various other organizations, both in a role of supplier and of customer. The speed that is required for this collaboration to be effective requires a great deal of openness about internal activities and future plans. “Transparency” is the word used these days to denote such openness. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of transparency in most supply networks. Information technology, security and language differences are the usual suspects, but the real root cause is a lack of trust, which I have found in a number of industry settings, ranging from electronics to chemicals and aerospace . If you do not trust the other side you will not share your information openly with them.’

The Public Affairs Council is the leading international association for public affairs professionals. Doug Pinkham President of  Public Affairs Council.  says:

‘That’s because openness creates opportunities for dialog with customers, shareholders, employees, local communities and government officials. If you make the effort to engage your critics – and those who may become your critics – you can correct problems before they get out of hand. Listening is the first step toward rebuilding trust.’

Without high-levels of trust, the long-term viability of businesses and organizations are in question. In creating a ‘Standard of Trust’,  Rob Peters is defining the new Trust Index, a core element of measuring relationship capital.  Rob states:

‘In this fast moving digital marketplace, relationship principles by which firms and organizations compete and collaborate are taking an increasingly important role in enabling business success. Today, do most leaders, individuals and organizations have the mindset of “Doing The Right Thing” not just for maximizing profit and revenue, but for optimizing long-term mutually beneficial relationships?’

Intrapersonal activity, aka reflective review, leads to improved interpersonal exchange.  Taking accountability for understanding your motivations, interpretations and personal biases lends insight to how our perspectives and perceptions colour our interactions.

Emotional intelligence equates with our capacity for a greater spectrum of response to both internal and external prompts, derived from feelings of which we need to make sense. Responsiveness replaces reactiveness as a preferable communication style when the process of review is integrated.

Personal accountability is an outcome of having taken both the time and the effort to evolve a competency for internal dialogue and external expression. When contexted by understanding both the impact and influence of choices and communication, our responses are more appropriate. Learning a lexicon of appraisal, derived from Appreciative Inquiry, forms a new potential that motivates, not excoriates, self assessment.

Intrapersonal dialogue, the internal expression that runs constantly, reveals and defines the relationship you have with self.   It requires attention to the language you choose to make sense of and interpret self  in the world at large. Defining yourself in terms that accommodate your humanness is both healthy and a process of maturation

Building a strong relationship with the self benefits interpersonal engagement as an immediate effect.  Acknowledging of our foibles, idiosyncracies and unique pecadillos affords us a mutual capacity for accepting similar traits in others and allows for the acceptance that we are enough just as we are. This recognition improves our self worth amd leads to a self knowledge that establishes our inner locus.

Intrapersonal communication occurs within our intimate world. We need to take of charge that world and construct in a manner congruent with our needs, a reality that supports nourishing and nurturing our emotional wellbeing. That, in turn,  is reflected in our interpersonal relationships and serves as the key and foundation for healthy dynamics.

Human beings have been using stones to guide the way for milenia.

The traditional meaning of the inukshuk is “Someone was here” or “You are on the right path.” The Inuit make inuksuit in different forms for a variety of purposes: as navigation or directional aids, to mark a place of respect or memorial for a beloved person, or to indicate migration routes or places where fish can be found.

RMI’s modules provided foundational knowledge about human relationships.    As you put  knowledge in to  practice and reflect on the results, you develop your people skills.

Developing a literacy for human relationships includes the ability make good choices based on both your individual values and the collective  wisdom  of those who have gone before you.   Define, through reflection, what your unique beliefs and values are.  Upon them, base your decisions, and live their consequences.

Processes, associations, and iconic language, when integrated into our understandings, provide a conceptual framework for personal learning and  growth.

Here’s a sample:

Keystones

The foundational elements that are key to your reality, your world view. Without it you are without orientation.  It can be culturally informed.  It holds your sense of identity.  For some, it is their religion or philosophical beliefs.   The way in which you relate and make sense of the world.   What informs your world view?

Touchstones

What points during the course of a day, give you a sense of self.  Something that makes you feel connected with who you are.  Those points where you and reality come together to create a positive feeling; a “feel good” experience.   These are your boundary moments. Your touch points.

Stepping Stones

Your stepping stones are the strategy you use to take you forward.  Set your internal compass in a direction and look for the stepping stones.  Goals change.  Stepping stones are there in front of you when you look.  Is this a good stepping stone? Is this a good solid choice?  Every stepping stone takes you to a new vantage point.

Millstones

Physicist, David Bohm once said that society is based on shared meaning, which constitutes the culture. This shared meaning is the “glue” or the “cement” that holds society together. Shared meaning is necessary for society to function properly and for it to survive.

In his essay Dialogue and Coherence, William van den Heuvel describes Bohm’s ideas of the binding effect of sharing  common meanings and the challenge of achieving  shared menaing.

Through the media  we all get the same incomplete information and, therefore, we all come to the same distorted conclusions.  When communicating from person to person; is not only about what has happened but also why it happened. What are our beliefs, our opinions and  assumptions? What is important to you and what is important to me?

Understanding ourselves is the first step to better self expression.

Self-concept is the basis for intrapersonal communication, because it determines how a person sees themself and is oriented toward others. Self-concept (also called self-awareness) involves three factors: beliefs, values and attitudes. How they express that state is fundamental to building qualitative relationships.

When we know each other we are better able to understand each other.

Communication can be carried out by auditory means, such as speaking, singing, and sometimes tone of voice, and nonverbal, physical means, such as body language, sign language, paralanguage, touch, eye contact, or the use of writing. Whatever the medium, though, communication still means that one or more individuals are transferring information. The question becomes whether the information transmitted can be received and correctly interpreted.

• How you speak to people shapes how they view you and relate to you.
• The language you choose, the tone in which you express and the behaviour you adopt, all play a significant role in peoples perception of you.
• Your words, voice tone and inflection can elicit powerful emotions from others, without you realizing it.

We build relationships through our interactions.   How we choose to engage  in each and every interaction determines the quality of the relationship.   Be mindful of what you are saying, why you are saying it and how you are saying it.    Express yourself appropriately, constructively and concisely.

It matters.

” I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel”

Maya Angelou

A living organisation is  a balance between the formal structure of rules, roles and responsibilities and the informal culture of creativity, relationship dynamics, communication and engagement.

Using a tree analogy the formal structure is the trunk and branches and the informal culture are the leaves, blossoms and fruit which arise from the formal structure.

In his  2002 book The Hidden Connections Fritjof Capra explores the dynamic between formal structure and the informal dynamics of an organisation.

Formal Structure

The formal structure of an organsation are the sets of rules and regulations that define the relationships between people and tasks, and determine the distribution of power.  Boundaries are established by contractual agreements that delineate well- defined subsystems (departments) and functions.  The formal structures are depicted in the organiation’s official documents – the organisational charts bylaws, manuals and budgets that describe the organisation’s formal policies strategies and procedures.

Informal Dynamics

The informal structures by contrast are fluid and fluctuating networks of communcations.  These communications include nonverbal forms of mutual engagement in a joint enterprise through which skills are exchanged and shared tacit knowledge is generated.  The shared practice creates flexible boundaries of meaning that are often unspoken.   The distinction of belonging  to a network may be as simple as being able to certain conversations of knowing the latest gossip.

Informal networks of communication are embodied in the people who engage in the common practice.  When new people join the entire network may reconfigure itself; when people leave, the network will change again, or may even break down.  In the formal organisation by contrast, functions and power relations are more important than people, persisting over the years while people come and go.

In every organisation, there is a continuous interplay between its informal networks and its formal structures.  Formal policies and procedures are always filtered and modified by the informal networks, which allow workers to use their creativity when faced with unexpected and novel situations.