A vitreous learning cycle is one in which we polish our rough edges.

When applied to developing our people skills  this vitreous cycle

produces resilient  individuals and relationships.

vit·re·ous  [vi-tree-uhs] adjective: of the nature of or resembling glass, as in transparency,  brittleness, hardness, glossiness, etc.: vitreous china.

Synonyms: clear, glasslike, hyaline, hyaloid, translucent, transparent, burnished, clear, glazed, glazy, glossy,  icy, lustrous, shiny, sleek, slick

Knowing  who you are points the way

Self-knowledge  is  honestly answering the question,  What you are like?  Knowing what interests you, what your strengths are and what you are not satisfied with helps you adjust your personal compass and set objectives that are in keeping with who you are.

Just do it

People skills are not rocket science.   The best place to polish your people skills is in the real world.  Challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone.     Developing any skill involves practicing it.  Someone  who is skilled in the social graces, meets every situation with poise,  good manners, and elegance.

We learn social skills reflexively

Reflexive learning is navigating the circular relationships between cause and effect in rapidly changing circumstances. In this  context  it refers to the capacity of an individual to recognize the forces of socialization.  It is a quantum reflection and you, as the observer, are part of the equation.

Workplace informality is cultivated through open communication with trusted colleagues. The qualities of informal workspaces are spontaneity, vitality, creativity and flexibility. New solutions to old problems are developed and new problems are rapidly solved because of improved trust and communication. Integrating the thinking, feeling and actions in business structures releases the potential informal leadership abilities and  is a proactively powerful strategy.

Informal networks can productively benefit businesses when implementing new strategies, systems and structures by leveraging the potential inherent in the continuity of these conduits.  Capturing the the socio-emotional and psychosocial networks of relationships in organisation is vital to creating a cooperative culture. The ability to identify where individuals are genuinely forging relationships that provides value for their workflow is critical.  So, how do you measure, map and build relationships so that the informal networks within an organisation are made visible and can be explored?

Relationship dynamics can greatly improve  business results, by moving your organisation(s) from isolated silos to collaborative networks.  In what ways can you survey  group communication and trust to better understand the tacit attributes of everyday worklife and develop appropriate behaviours for your ideal work culture?

Identify:

Social Network Analysis enables the measurement and mapping of informal relationships which form the hidden connection within an organisation.

Measure:

The implementation of enterprise ethnography, qualitatively measures and analyses group dynamics.  These soft metrics define the structure around which  informal networks can be evaluated.

Apply:

Sociometry is an key tool for building mature group networks and positive relationship behaviours. Sociometric affinities reveal a cultural value set in operation.  Sociometric tools are invaluable in identifying informal leaders and strengthening informal networks of relationships.

Enculture:

Social learning methods allows group members to create a shared dynamic for reviewing perceptions within the context of their key relationships. Group members are proactively encouraged to create new patterns of behaviour and interactions in order to maintain the healthy relationships that keep businesses performing well.

Ubiquitous, means to be omnipresent: being present everywhere at once. Communication is the act of exchanging meaning. From the ever present mobile phone, to email, to platforms like facebook and twitter, we are connected by social technologies.

What is the quality of our connection in a ubiquitous environment.  Can we communicate our  authentic self ?   To demonstrate this point, compare reading a web profile with speaking to someone face to face. Can you look into their eyes, see their body language or  make assumptions from the clothes they are wearing?

Communicating through a common platform   promotes  normalization and uniformity.  Our web profiles contain similar information in a neatly organized form.   We are relieved from choosing how to express who we are as individuals.   Conversation  is replaced with superficial exchanges and chatter.  What is missing is a genuine cognition of that which is being communicated.

So how can we get our message across in an environment where each email, video, image, status update, article and sound byte blends in with the rest of the white noise?

The answer is to maintain a consistency in our message. Not only in the message itself  but also in the way the message is conveyed.   What do our messages say about us?  Are we abrasive and self focused or courteous and respectful of others? Our communications need to consistently reflect  how we wish to be perceived – because in a world with ubiquitous communication they are how we are percieved.

How to navigate the social collective.

Our  inner dialogue has an outer impact.  By taking it in hand, and developing an inner locus,  we can chart our relationship landscape with confidence.   By directing our own  mindset and championing our competencies, we  grow in confidence.  We can  be authentic, acknowledging  our strengths and flaws.   Diamonds have brilliant facets and  unique flaws.  By recognizing  our diamond nature we  grow in clarity.

The intrapersonal and interpersonal are unequivocally linked.   If we  are critical or upbeat about ourselves, we are  more likely to be critical or upbeat with others.   It’s either a poison that taints everything or  a ripple effect for constant improvement. Orienteering  from the internal to the external and understanding that everything is related, is how we navigate our relationship map.

In a group,  there is a dynamic, created by the existing culture and the influential players .  Every person  who joins or leaves  the group changes the dynamic.    How you show up  is important.   Clear communication is key to setting the ground rules for how people engage with you.   Defining who you are within the group context  is how you contribute to the creation of the culture.

In a world mediated by social technology, we know lots of people, but what kind of relationship do we have with them.   How do we qualify the value of the those relationships.   Collective intelligence has a social foundation, the healthier your relationships the stronger your group will be collectively

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Achieving our aspirations involves ongoing personal reflection,

continuous learning and  nurturing our relationships.

With 2011 around the corner many are looking reflectively at the past year and considering ways to improve  our efforts for the new year.

Most of us already have several systems to organize our lives, project plans at work, a family calendar in the kitchen, perhaps a journal for personal reflections. The tools we employ can range from the software provided on  latest mobile gadget to a hasty shopping list scrawled on a piece of paper.

The beginning of a new year is a good time to refine our processes. Life is a work in progress,  review your plans more often, on a monthly or even a weekly basis.  What do you want to do?  Where do you want to go?  How will you get there?

Cultivate Quality Relationships in 2011

The first relationship to consider is your  relationship with your self.   Decide upon the skills,  people,  projects and activities you wish to pursue in the coming year.

If you aspire to enlarge your social circle this year,  join a group,  it  is a good way to meet new  people.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by your involvements, choose how you will spend your time and efforts.

Develop an awareness of your existing network.   Who is in your network?  How well do you know them?

Of the people you know, with whom  would you like to strengthen a relationship with?   Make it a priority, schedule time with that person.

Developing interpersonal relationships by engaging with others  on a regular basis and getting involved in groups adds value to life and enriches the quality of our experience.

Consider the roles you play in your existing relationships.  Think of the ways in which you interact with these people.   What are your responsibilities?  What are your expectations of them?  Are these roles understood clearly or is there a need to communicate them?

Get to know  people who have expertise.   Their viewpoint, and interpretations may help us to see what we cannot.

One reason we develop relationships is so that we may engage collaboratively with them to achieve a common goal. By working together the group can often  achieve more than individuals could do on our own.

Approach your relationship management tasks in an organized and thoughtful manner.  Determine what priority they play in your life and how  you will put your efforts into improving them

Make it Happen

So how do we find the time to do all these things?   Time management is  the range  of  skills,  tools and techniques for managing the time required to achieve our goals.

Essentially there are two approaches to time management.

Task Orientated – Bottom up

Bottom up methods  are typically used for project management.  Large projects are broken into into smaller tasks, which are associated with a time estimate and the  resources required for completion.  The tasks are prioritized, scheduled and  assigned  to accomplish the larger objective.   Recipes , project plans and todo lists are examples of task orientated, time management systems.   David Allen has popularized a personal task orientated system with his book Getting things done (GTD)

Result Orientated – Top Down

Top down methods such as  Stephen Covey’s system places goals and roles as the controlling element of the system and favors importance over urgency.  Using a results orientated system, we focus on the results, and look for opportunities to achieve those results moving forward.   A result orientated strategy is helpful for achieving business or personal  goals that are less tangible such as improving a relationship with someone in your life.

A  personal  infusion of  Time Management Methods.

Jordan McGilvary of DIYplanner.com has shared his time management templates and an application for printing your own calendars and agenda pages.   Jordan has also  shared his  insights into  The Middle Way Method, a time management system that works for him.

The Middle Way Method encourages me to uncover who I am, who I want to be, and how to become who I want to be, while being able to handle everything that is thrown my way. … I feel that this approach gives a balance between the important things of life and the daily grind.