“So let us begin anew —- remembering on both sides
that civility is not a sign of weakness,
and sincerity is always subject to proof.”

~ John F. Kennedy

Civility is defined as ‘Formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech’.   Civil society, civic culture, and social capital are all important for strengthening democracy and enabling conflict resolution.

What is Social Capital?

While social capital is ” an instantiated informal norm that promotes cooperation between two or more individuals” (Francis Fukuyama) , it cannot in a community of diversity without a foundation in civility. Cultivating civility is an integral element of social capital because it fosters good relationship where ever you engage.

Through civility we behave altruistically,  extending courtesy to one another, creating trust.  The radius of trust is founded on consistency and quality of interpersonal exchange. Every point of engagement is an opportunity to demonstrate civility and more.

Part of our learning modules, RMI has a created a model of mindfulness we call ”The Diamond Rule’.

Respect

Honesty

Accountability

Boundaries

Responsibility

Trust

Reciprocality

Altruism

Unless enculturing civility becomes an initiative educationally, corporately and communally, there will little opportunity to grow trust amongst communities.

In his  book,  A World Waiting to be Born,  M. Scott Peck examines the concept of community by referring to his own philosophy and applying the ideas  to corporate backgrounds. The book explores  self-absorption  and the destructive aspects of materialism which have become part of our  behavioral norms. Peck  proposes a variety of philosophies to help address these challenges.

‘We human beings have often been referred to as social animals. But we are not yet community creatures. We are impelled to relate with each other for our survival. But we do not yet relate with the inclusivity, realism, self-awareness, vulnerability, commitment, openness, freedom, equality, and love of genuine community.’

M Scott Peck

As social business gathers momentum through enterprise adoption of social technologies, the inevitable shift to breaking down organisational silos towards a more social organism will become evident. This will create opportunities to do things differently, as three generations of workers collide in the workplace. The legacy of silos causes many problems in terms of knowledge mobilisation, agility of response to disruptive market forces in terms of strategic decision making and overall engagement of the workforce.

Jack Welch deemed speed to be of the utmost importance to business advantage. The transition from predominantly control and command structures that have dominated historically towards a more informal system will demand new practices and novel interventions in order to accelerate the workplace satisfaction quotient and encourage employees to co-operate together in a contemporary business climate. This video outlines the problem and solution : The lowest levels of engagement ever measured

A recent blog piece published by the RSA indicated that ‘most organisations want their employees to be more engaged. Most individuals want to contribute and to find meaning at work. Yet research suggests that more than two thirds of people are not engaged with how they spend their working hours. Instead of contributing their creativity, employees seem numbed by work, stressed by seemingly unreasonable demands and, in the UK, absent to the tune of 180 million days a year. This carries with it significant costs to the individual, to business and to society’.

It’s likely that silo culture does much to engender the disengagement factor and to apparent bottom line cost as well as trust factors, a key contributor to job satisfaction. How long before businesses realise that a failure to tackle the silo issue by encouraging a greater collaborative culture is very real, financially measurable and potentially damaging to the future survival of the organisation? As Jack said ‘The essence of competitiveness is liberated when we make people believe that what they think and do is important and then get out of their way while they do it’.

Facebook’s social context ads collect data on our likes and scans our content for  keywords.  This information is used to generate the ads on the right hand side of  the facebook page.   Google has been showing us context sensitive ads for many years now.

The difference in Facebook  is, that your context sensitive ads are being shown to  your network  with the intention of generating activity within your social group.  Along with the ad,  are the names of  your friends who have clicked the like button or generated some sort of social action, demonstrating an engagement with the item being promoted.  The Facebook equivalent of word of mouth advertising.

Social Networks are more valuable when there is activity along the nodes. Activity indicates emotional resonance, you have been moved  to take some action.  It is like participating in a conversation.  If you are not activley engaged you will listen quietly,  when something resonates with you, you will interject with a comment or ask a question.

Knowing what is able to trigger activity  in a social network is valuable.

A friend connection indicates you have a relationship.  The nature of that relationship can be determined by the information you have provided.   The  people in your network may be colleages, school chums or family. The aggregate of  what you and your friends value along with all the other information you have shared paints a picture of your shared culture.

What facebook is collecting is our values.   What do we value enough to like, follow a link, post on a wall or mention in our status messages.   The information can be used to track the changes in our cultural value systems.  As our culture changes so does our behavior.  According to  Peter Kruse, a German professor and psychologist.   There is a time  lag  between  our culture as expressed by our values and our behavior.  So if my friends and I impulsively agree that an iced mocha looks yummy.  We are likely to follow up with a purchase someday.

We know that social networks can have powerful effect.   Valdis Krebs’ case studies explore the role of our social networks in influencing  smoking cessation, obesity and divorce.    He has shown that Social Network Analysis  can  uncloak  the connections in the 911 terrorist plot and analyze the relationship dynamics of large companies.

We create culture.    Facebook collects it.

Imagine what we could do with it.

Partial notes from the video:

The most interesting part of reducing complexity is culture.  It is not the individual brain but it is already the sum of the individual brains.   When I`m looking at the individual brain.  I`m talking more or less abot the limbic system…

All these values … are in the value system of the limbic system.  This is absolutely  unconscious more or less and gives me the ability to decide without rational analysis.  I am in a very complex situation,  I am doing something and I`m doing this on the basis of all the intuitive knowledge of my own life…

The cultural value system is stabilizing the decision making process, not of one person but of groups of persons.  This is what the culture is all about.  Culture has the task to stabilizing people enough to  be able to interact, to be able to cooperate…

There are these underlying streams of value systems that are fare more stable.  So when I’m ready to measure the changing value system in the culture.  I’m two or three years ahead of behavior.  If you can get access to this data you can reduce complexity in the sense of anticipation not just the moment you are looking at…

Measuring the dynamics of the value system of groups.  Culture is nothing more than a word for this.  So when we are sharing value systems – we are sharing the culture.

We are able to understand each other.

Human networks are often represented as objects  linked through relationships.

Our natural inclination is to focus on the qualities and value of the object – the person.

What do we know of the connections – our human  relationships.

How can we assess and improve the value and quality of our relationships?

By focusing on the  development of the individual the organization as a whole benefits.  The personal assets of the individual shape the collective collateral of the group.  People benefit both personally and communally from the soft skills they acquire for building  quality human relationships.

Each person’s attentiveness to their interactions has a cumulative effect.  This is an essential component for the development of a healthy culture from which  collective intelligence can emerge.

A social organization is the characteristic pattern of relationships within a group. Developing competencies in relationship building and engagement help us navigate the cultures we  participate in.

Communities where individuals show up as themselves, and genuinely like the people they engage with, are better able to adapt, evolve and  flourish in a changing environment.

A framework which supports the growth of human relationships includes the following:

Intrapersonal Development

The first relationship to consider is your relationship with yourself.    Who are you?   What do you value?  What are your competencies?   Self awareness  guides our  personal development, helping  us bring our best, authentic self to every interaction.

Interpersonal Relationships

The way we interact with others builds trust and connects us.  The quality of a relationship is determined by  each interaction.  It is important to understand interpersonal dynamics and the behaviors that grow strong social relationships.

Group Dynamics and Culture

The purpose and culture of a group, shapes the roles we take and our behavior within it.  As we engage in groups,  mindful of our roles and interactions, we are able to contribute effectively.  Collectively we  have a fertile environment for innovation, one that is productive and adaptive to change.

Collective Intelligence

We come together socially to do or  build something that we could not do on our own.  The many become one.  The end result is collective intelligence, a shared intelligence, that emerges from the  interaction of many individuals.

Workplace informality is cultivated through open communication with trusted colleagues. The qualities of informal workspaces are spontaneity, vitality, creativity and flexibility. New solutions to old problems are developed and new problems are rapidly solved because of improved trust and communication. Integrating the thinking, feeling and actions in business structures releases the potential informal leadership abilities and  is a proactively powerful strategy.

Informal networks can productively benefit businesses when implementing new strategies, systems and structures by leveraging the potential inherent in the continuity of these conduits.  Capturing the the socio-emotional and psychosocial networks of relationships in organisation is vital to creating a cooperative culture. The ability to identify where individuals are genuinely forging relationships that provides value for their workflow is critical.  So, how do you measure, map and build relationships so that the informal networks within an organisation are made visible and can be explored?

Relationship dynamics can greatly improve  business results, by moving your organisation(s) from isolated silos to collaborative networks.  In what ways can you survey  group communication and trust to better understand the tacit attributes of everyday worklife and develop appropriate behaviours for your ideal work culture?

Identify:

Social Network Analysis enables the measurement and mapping of informal relationships which form the hidden connection within an organisation.

Measure:

The implementation of enterprise ethnography, qualitatively measures and analyses group dynamics.  These soft metrics define the structure around which  informal networks can be evaluated.

Apply:

Sociometry is an key tool for building mature group networks and positive relationship behaviours. Sociometric affinities reveal a cultural value set in operation.  Sociometric tools are invaluable in identifying informal leaders and strengthening informal networks of relationships.

Enculture:

Social learning methods allows group members to create a shared dynamic for reviewing perceptions within the context of their key relationships. Group members are proactively encouraged to create new patterns of behaviour and interactions in order to maintain the healthy relationships that keep businesses performing well.

Ubiquitous, means to be omnipresent: being present everywhere at once. Communication is the act of exchanging meaning. From the ever present mobile phone, to email, to platforms like facebook and twitter, we are connected by social technologies.

What is the quality of our connection in a ubiquitous environment.  Can we communicate our  authentic self ?   To demonstrate this point, compare reading a web profile with speaking to someone face to face. Can you look into their eyes, see their body language or  make assumptions from the clothes they are wearing?

Communicating through a common platform   promotes  normalization and uniformity.  Our web profiles contain similar information in a neatly organized form.   We are relieved from choosing how to express who we are as individuals.   Conversation  is replaced with superficial exchanges and chatter.  What is missing is a genuine cognition of that which is being communicated.

So how can we get our message across in an environment where each email, video, image, status update, article and sound byte blends in with the rest of the white noise?

The answer is to maintain a consistency in our message. Not only in the message itself  but also in the way the message is conveyed.   What do our messages say about us?  Are we abrasive and self focused or courteous and respectful of others? Our communications need to consistently reflect  how we wish to be perceived – because in a world with ubiquitous communication they are how we are percieved.

How to navigate the social collective.

Our  inner dialogue has an outer impact.  By taking it in hand, and developing an inner locus,  we can chart our relationship landscape with confidence.   By directing our own  mindset and championing our competencies, we  grow in confidence.  We can  be authentic, acknowledging  our strengths and flaws.   Diamonds have brilliant facets and  unique flaws.  By recognizing  our diamond nature we  grow in clarity.

The intrapersonal and interpersonal are unequivocally linked.   If we  are critical or upbeat about ourselves, we are  more likely to be critical or upbeat with others.   It’s either a poison that taints everything or  a ripple effect for constant improvement. Orienteering  from the internal to the external and understanding that everything is related, is how we navigate our relationship map.

In a group,  there is a dynamic, created by the existing culture and the influential players .  Every person  who joins or leaves  the group changes the dynamic.    How you show up  is important.   Clear communication is key to setting the ground rules for how people engage with you.   Defining who you are within the group context  is how you contribute to the creation of the culture.

In a world mediated by social technology, we know lots of people, but what kind of relationship do we have with them.   How do we qualify the value of the those relationships.   Collective intelligence has a social foundation, the healthier your relationships the stronger your group will be collectively

.

Achieving our aspirations involves ongoing personal reflection,

continuous learning and  nurturing our relationships.

With 2011 around the corner many are looking reflectively at the past year and considering ways to improve  our efforts for the new year.

Most of us already have several systems to organize our lives, project plans at work, a family calendar in the kitchen, perhaps a journal for personal reflections. The tools we employ can range from the software provided on  latest mobile gadget to a hasty shopping list scrawled on a piece of paper.

The beginning of a new year is a good time to refine our processes. Life is a work in progress,  review your plans more often, on a monthly or even a weekly basis.  What do you want to do?  Where do you want to go?  How will you get there?

Cultivate Quality Relationships in 2011

The first relationship to consider is your  relationship with your self.   Decide upon the skills,  people,  projects and activities you wish to pursue in the coming year.

If you aspire to enlarge your social circle this year,  join a group,  it  is a good way to meet new  people.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by your involvements, choose how you will spend your time and efforts.

Develop an awareness of your existing network.   Who is in your network?  How well do you know them?

Of the people you know, with whom  would you like to strengthen a relationship with?   Make it a priority, schedule time with that person.

Developing interpersonal relationships by engaging with others  on a regular basis and getting involved in groups adds value to life and enriches the quality of our experience.

Consider the roles you play in your existing relationships.  Think of the ways in which you interact with these people.   What are your responsibilities?  What are your expectations of them?  Are these roles understood clearly or is there a need to communicate them?

Get to know  people who have expertise.   Their viewpoint, and interpretations may help us to see what we cannot.

One reason we develop relationships is so that we may engage collaboratively with them to achieve a common goal. By working together the group can often  achieve more than individuals could do on our own.

Approach your relationship management tasks in an organized and thoughtful manner.  Determine what priority they play in your life and how  you will put your efforts into improving them

Make it Happen

So how do we find the time to do all these things?   Time management is  the range  of  skills,  tools and techniques for managing the time required to achieve our goals.

Essentially there are two approaches to time management.

Task Orientated – Bottom up

Bottom up methods  are typically used for project management.  Large projects are broken into into smaller tasks, which are associated with a time estimate and the  resources required for completion.  The tasks are prioritized, scheduled and  assigned  to accomplish the larger objective.   Recipes , project plans and todo lists are examples of task orientated, time management systems.   David Allen has popularized a personal task orientated system with his book Getting things done (GTD)

Result Orientated – Top Down

Top down methods such as  Stephen Covey’s system places goals and roles as the controlling element of the system and favors importance over urgency.  Using a results orientated system, we focus on the results, and look for opportunities to achieve those results moving forward.   A result orientated strategy is helpful for achieving business or personal  goals that are less tangible such as improving a relationship with someone in your life.

A  personal  infusion of  Time Management Methods.

Jordan McGilvary of DIYplanner.com has shared his time management templates and an application for printing your own calendars and agenda pages.   Jordan has also  shared his  insights into  The Middle Way Method, a time management system that works for him.

The Middle Way Method encourages me to uncover who I am, who I want to be, and how to become who I want to be, while being able to handle everything that is thrown my way. … I feel that this approach gives a balance between the important things of life and the daily grind.

Trust is a valuable objective of our business relationships, it is the foundation of a sustainable marketplace.

Managing the quantity and quality of relationships and conversations on the web requires a sophistication of competencies. Whilst a combination of metrics, statistics, monitoring software reveal and manage trends, the ultimate arbiter of quality is trust and human engagement.

Social relationship management is about engaging in relevant conversations with clients, customers, prospects and brand champions. Essentially everyone is a customer of someone and the very experience of engaging with a brand be it in the real world or virtually, has a powerful underpinning sourced in experience and trust.

Relationship Management is most commonly associated with Customer Relationship Management (CRM).  The standard understanding of CRM is as a strategic business strategy which relate to techniques and methods for attracting and retaining customers.

According to Henk Akkermans, a co founder of Minase:

‘Most firms, especially in innovation-driven industries, operate as part of one or more supply networks. Here, they have to collaborate with various other organizations, both in a role of supplier and of customer. The speed that is required for this collaboration to be effective requires a great deal of openness about internal activities and future plans. “Transparency” is the word used these days to denote such openness. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of transparency in most supply networks. Information technology, security and language differences are the usual suspects, but the real root cause is a lack of trust, which I have found in a number of industry settings, ranging from electronics to chemicals and aerospace . If you do not trust the other side you will not share your information openly with them.’

The Public Affairs Council is the leading international association for public affairs professionals. Doug Pinkham President of  Public Affairs Council.  says:

‘That’s because openness creates opportunities for dialog with customers, shareholders, employees, local communities and government officials. If you make the effort to engage your critics – and those who may become your critics – you can correct problems before they get out of hand. Listening is the first step toward rebuilding trust.’

Without high-levels of trust, the long-term viability of businesses and organizations are in question. In creating a ‘Standard of Trust’,  Rob Peters is defining the new Trust Index, a core element of measuring relationship capital.  Rob states:

‘In this fast moving digital marketplace, relationship principles by which firms and organizations compete and collaborate are taking an increasingly important role in enabling business success. Today, do most leaders, individuals and organizations have the mindset of “Doing The Right Thing” not just for maximizing profit and revenue, but for optimizing long-term mutually beneficial relationships?’

Intrapersonal activity, aka reflective review, leads to improved interpersonal exchange.  Taking accountability for understanding your motivations, interpretations and personal biases lends insight to how our perspectives and perceptions colour our interactions.

Emotional intelligence equates with our capacity for a greater spectrum of response to both internal and external prompts, derived from feelings of which we need to make sense. Responsiveness replaces reactiveness as a preferable communication style when the process of review is integrated.

Personal accountability is an outcome of having taken both the time and the effort to evolve a competency for internal dialogue and external expression. When contexted by understanding both the impact and influence of choices and communication, our responses are more appropriate. Learning a lexicon of appraisal, derived from Appreciative Inquiry, forms a new potential that motivates, not excoriates, self assessment.

Intrapersonal dialogue, the internal expression that runs constantly, reveals and defines the relationship you have with self.   It requires attention to the language you choose to make sense of and interpret self  in the world at large. Defining yourself in terms that accommodate your humanness is both healthy and a process of maturation

Building a strong relationship with the self benefits interpersonal engagement as an immediate effect.  Acknowledging of our foibles, idiosyncracies and unique pecadillos affords us a mutual capacity for accepting similar traits in others and allows for the acceptance that we are enough just as we are. This recognition improves our self worth amd leads to a self knowledge that establishes our inner locus.

Intrapersonal communication occurs within our intimate world. We need to take of charge that world and construct in a manner congruent with our needs, a reality that supports nourishing and nurturing our emotional wellbeing. That, in turn,  is reflected in our interpersonal relationships and serves as the key and foundation for healthy dynamics.

Human beings have been using stones to guide the way for milenia.

The traditional meaning of the inukshuk is “Someone was here” or “You are on the right path.” The Inuit make inuksuit in different forms for a variety of purposes: as navigation or directional aids, to mark a place of respect or memorial for a beloved person, or to indicate migration routes or places where fish can be found.

RMI’s modules provided foundational knowledge about human relationships.    As you put  knowledge in to  practice and reflect on the results, you develop your people skills.

Developing a literacy for human relationships includes the ability make good choices based on both your individual values and the collective  wisdom  of those who have gone before you.   Define, through reflection, what your unique beliefs and values are.  Upon them, base your decisions, and live their consequences.

Processes, associations, and iconic language, when integrated into our understandings, provide a conceptual framework for personal learning and  growth.

Here’s a sample:

Keystones

The foundational elements that are key to your reality, your world view. Without it you are without orientation.  It can be culturally informed.  It holds your sense of identity.  For some, it is their religion or philosophical beliefs.   The way in which you relate and make sense of the world.   What informs your world view?

Touchstones

What points during the course of a day, give you a sense of self.  Something that makes you feel connected with who you are.  Those points where you and reality come together to create a positive feeling; a “feel good” experience.   These are your boundary moments. Your touch points.

Stepping Stones

Your stepping stones are the strategy you use to take you forward.  Set your internal compass in a direction and look for the stepping stones.  Goals change.  Stepping stones are there in front of you when you look.  Is this a good stepping stone? Is this a good solid choice?  Every stepping stone takes you to a new vantage point.

Millstones

Physicist, David Bohm once said that society is based on shared meaning, which constitutes the culture. This shared meaning is the “glue” or the “cement” that holds society together. Shared meaning is necessary for society to function properly and for it to survive.

In his essay Dialogue and Coherence, William van den Heuvel describes Bohm’s ideas of the binding effect of sharing  common meanings and the challenge of achieving  shared menaing.

Through the media  we all get the same incomplete information and, therefore, we all come to the same distorted conclusions.  When communicating from person to person; is not only about what has happened but also why it happened. What are our beliefs, our opinions and  assumptions? What is important to you and what is important to me?

Understanding ourselves is the first step to better self expression.

Self-concept is the basis for intrapersonal communication, because it determines how a person sees themself and is oriented toward others. Self-concept (also called self-awareness) involves three factors: beliefs, values and attitudes. How they express that state is fundamental to building qualitative relationships.

When we know each other we are better able to understand each other.

Communication can be carried out by auditory means, such as speaking, singing, and sometimes tone of voice, and nonverbal, physical means, such as body language, sign language, paralanguage, touch, eye contact, or the use of writing. Whatever the medium, though, communication still means that one or more individuals are transferring information. The question becomes whether the information transmitted can be received and correctly interpreted.

• How you speak to people shapes how they view you and relate to you.
• The language you choose, the tone in which you express and the behaviour you adopt, all play a significant role in peoples perception of you.
• Your words, voice tone and inflection can elicit powerful emotions from others, without you realizing it.

We build relationships through our interactions.   How we choose to engage  in each and every interaction determines the quality of the relationship.   Be mindful of what you are saying, why you are saying it and how you are saying it.    Express yourself appropriately, constructively and concisely.

It matters.

” I’ve learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel”

Maya Angelou

A living organisation is  a balance between the formal structure of rules, roles and responsibilities and the informal culture of creativity, relationship dynamics, communication and engagement.

Using a tree analogy the formal structure is the trunk and branches and the informal culture are the leaves, blossoms and fruit which arise from the formal structure.

In his  2002 book The Hidden Connections Fritjof Capra explores the dynamic between formal structure and the informal dynamics of an organisation.

Formal Structure

The formal structure of an organsation are the sets of rules and regulations that define the relationships between people and tasks, and determine the distribution of power.  Boundaries are established by contractual agreements that delineate well- defined subsystems (departments) and functions.  The formal structures are depicted in the organiation’s official documents – the organisational charts bylaws, manuals and budgets that describe the organisation’s formal policies strategies and procedures.

Informal Dynamics

The informal structures by contrast are fluid and fluctuating networks of communcations.  These communications include nonverbal forms of mutual engagement in a joint enterprise through which skills are exchanged and shared tacit knowledge is generated.  The shared practice creates flexible boundaries of meaning that are often unspoken.   The distinction of belonging  to a network may be as simple as being able to certain conversations of knowing the latest gossip.

Informal networks of communication are embodied in the people who engage in the common practice.  When new people join the entire network may reconfigure itself; when people leave, the network will change again, or may even break down.  In the formal organisation by contrast, functions and power relations are more important than people, persisting over the years while people come and go.

In every organisation, there is a continuous interplay between its informal networks and its formal structures.  Formal policies and procedures are always filtered and modified by the informal networks, which allow workers to use their creativity when faced with unexpected and novel situations.

Where is the road map and directions for navigating
the complexities of interpersonal relationships?

Literacy is more than acquiring a set of skills.  Literacy is the capability, confidence and competency we apply and evolve in a changing environment.

To use a common example.  We develop the skill  to understand spoken words at an early age. We develop literacy, the ability to understand and express complex ideas through language,  during our school years.

In the workplace, soft skills courses attempt to address aspects of our interactions with others.   Assertiveness, communication, negotiating, diversity,  team building and managing conflict,  are familiar course titles on offer. Each addresses an aspect of human interactions, however none address the subject comprehensively.

With regard to interpersonal relationships, hiding yourself away or being the strong silent type, is avoiding the issue.  Both psychology and neuroscience have established we are social creatures.  Relationships matter for our emotional well being.  Interpersonal difficulties tell us there is something we don’t understand, either about relationship dynamics, or ourselves.

“The three hardest things in life are diamonds, steel and knowing yourself.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

The first relationship to attend to is our relationship with ourselves.  Gaining self knowledge is an iterative process of better knowing our authentic self  and expressing that self to others.

When you interact with someone, realize that person is another you.  Shalom is a Hebrew  greeting meaning peace, completeness, and welfare . Aloha  means affection, love, peace, compassion and mercy.   These are things that we also wish for ourselves.  Interact with others with this in mind.

If your kindness and respect are not returned, perhaps the other person has not yet reached this level of understanding. From this perspective, we realize good interpersonal relationships are not about winning or getting our way every time.  It is about treating people how you would like to be treated.

Be a diamond, make the first move, be altruistic, engage with others in a respectful and courteous matter and expect the best from others.

]]> http://www.relationshipmanagementinstitute.com/2010/09/interpersonal-relationships-as-a-critical-literacy/feed/ 0 http://www.relationshipmanagementinstitute.com/2010/09/validation-works-can-appraisal-be-a-positive-experience/ http://www.relationshipmanagementinstitute.com/2010/09/validation-works-can-appraisal-be-a-positive-experience/#comments Sun, 12 Sep 2010 09:59:11 +0000 Tia Carr Williams http://www.relationshipmanagementinstitute.com/?p=1377 When someone takes the time to give you positive feedback, it really does make a difference.

Research has proven time and again that criticism can diminish our sense of self and worth, until we have matured our inner locus as a referrence point. Whether personal or professional, kind words and clear communication phrased in terms that reflect positive elements about a person’s efforts or qualities, can have a powerful impact.

In many organisations appraisal is the process by which review of an employees efforts are scrutined. Most managers dislike delivering appraisals as, invariably, they are more about stick beatings than carrot motivation. Few managers are schooled in how to verbally deliver positive, appreciatively worded, appraisals, descending into the standard ‘didn’t do bad, must do better’ ,  leaving the employee feeling that nothing would every be enough.

Spending both the time and money to invest in training key managers on how to properly motivate and lead their teams in ways that verbally inspire and sensibly deliver positive messages as well as articulate criticism in a style that can equally be accepted, is extremely valuable.

“Validation” is a fable about the magic of free parking and so very much more. Starring TJ Thyne & Vicki Davis , it was written, directed and composed by Kurt Kuenne. Kuenne grew up in Silicon Valley, California, where at age 7, he met a certain Dr. Andrew Bagby, the subject of his first film, Dear Zachary. He began his film making as soon as he could hold a camera and all of his early films feature Dr.Bagby. ‘Validation’ (2006) starring TJ Thyne (Bones), has played 40 festivals worldwide, has won 19 awards, and has garnered more in prize money than the film’s production budget:

Knowledge-based organizations base their competitiveness on knowledge and specific knowledge-related capabilities. The nature of knowledge is an important determinant enhancing understanding of firm behaviour and related organizing.

An overview of trust and trust building in networks delivered by Kirsimarja Blomqvist from Lappeenranta University of Technology

For trust to be a source of organizational competitiveness, a holistic and comprehensive development is needed. A strategic approach to trust building must consider different dimensions of trust, as well as related trust-building processes. Different types of trust are complementary and an organization actively supporting development of impersonal and interpersonal elements of trust can build stronger organizational trust among employees and other stakeholders. Even if there would be an aspiration to develop (trust capital and) trust in all stakeholders it is important to start by developing firm-internal trust in employees because of the interaction between internal and external norms and values, as she cites in this paper.

Whilst some researchers disagree whether trust can be intentionally created, clearly trust is very difficult to develop and sustain. A sort of ‘familiarity breeds mistrust’ can set in if certain boundaries are not respected or given due regard. It is however believed that the conditions (processes, routines and settings) affecting the evolution of trust may be managed. In order to do so, Blomqvist analyzes what is known of the creation and experience of trust. It becomes evident that interpersonal and inter-organizational trust creation is key and she shows some means to build trust and build a conceptual model on trust building in inter-organizational context.

An overview of trust and trust building in networks

A Video Lecture by Kirsimarja Blomqvist

Appreciative inquiry, when applied to human relationships,

brings out the best in people,

builds enduring emotional bonds

and lays the groundwork for quality engagements.

The appreciative inquiry model, is normally applied to systems, projects and individual issues to achieve positive outcomes. In this article,we have  focused  the model on human relationships which are always a key component of appreciative inquiry but not always the subject of the inquiry itself.  

Appreciative inquiry brings out the best in people.

Appreciative inquiry is the opposite of problem-solving, and critical inquiry. What we focus on  positive aspects, we emphasize and amplify them.  Thinking the best of people,  brings out the best in them.

Appreciative Inquiry builds enduring emotional bonds.

Knowing  you are valued and your contributions, right or wrong, have meaning, encourages us to show up with positive intent.  To listen to others and provide our responses. We are willing to be less critical of others because others are less critical of us.

Appreciative Inquiry lays the groundwork for quality engagement.

Practising Appreciative Inquiry as part of the culture creates an environment where people are willing to offer more diverse suggestions.  Confident that others will seek to understand, rather than shoot down an idea that deviates from the status quo.

The following definition of appreciative inquiry is from appreciativeinquiry.case.edu:

“Appreciative Inquiry is the cooperative search for the best in people, their organizations, and the world around them. It involves systematic discovery of what gives a system ‘life’ when it is most effective and capable in economic, ecological, and human terms. AI involves the art and practice of asking questions that strengthen a system’s capacity to heighten positive potential. It mobilizes inquiry through crafting an “unconditional positive question’ often involving hundreds or sometimes thousands of people.”

Cooperrider, D.L. & Whitney, D., “Appreciative Inquiry: A positive revolution in change.” In P. Holman & T. Devane (eds.), The Change Handbook, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., pages 245-263.

Ap-pre’ci-ate, v., 1. valuing; the act of recognizing the best in people or the world around us; affirming past and present strengths, successes, and potentials; to perceive those things that give life (health, vitality, excellence) to living systems 2. to increase in value, e.g. the economy has appreciated in value. Synonyms: VALUING, PRIZING, ESTEEMING, and HONORING.

In-quire’ (kwir), v., 1. the act of exploration and discovery. 2. To askquestions; to be open to seeing new potentials and possibilities. Synonyms: DISCOVERY, SEARCH, and SYSTEMATIC EXPLORATION, STUDY.

The way we do our work affects the way other people do their work.

As such, each person is key to the sustainability of the organization.

Twenty years ago, Peter Senge described the learning organization as a group of people who are continually enhancing their capabilities to create what they want to create.  This concept  has been acknowledged by organisations, and yet, is rarely invested in.

…organizations where people continually expand their capacity to
create the results they truly desire, where new and expansive patterns
of thinking are nurtured, where collective aspiration is set free, and
where people are continually learning to see the whole together.

The social learning theory of Albert Bandura emphasizes the importance of observing and modeling the behaviors, attitudes, and emotional reactions of others.  Social Learning has become a contemporary label for transferring knowledge between individuals on a peer to peer basis.  Social technologies provide a technological conduit for peer to peer knowledge sharing to occur.

The culture and behaviors associated with sharing knowledge  through social learning are poorly developed. Social learning is done predominantly  away from the machine.  It takes place in the informal conversations, behaviors and activities that inform the culture. Technology supports and captures but true social learning is witnessed and adopted by human observation.

Steve Flinn is  Managing Director of ManyWorlds, Inc., an intellectual capital design firm that delivers next generation strategic advice, research, content solutions, and author of the recently published ‘The Learning Layer’. Prior to founding ManyWorlds,  Flinn was a Chief Information Officer, as well as a Vice President of Strategy of the Royal Dutch/Shell Group, which was, at that time, the most valuable company in the world.  Steve recognizes that learning to learn better is the only sustainable competitive advantage that builds the value generating the possibilities of any business.

Social awareness and learning from experience can now be built into our IT systems and evolve the knowledge within the organisation more efficiently. Engendering the emergence of an entirely new phenomenon, an evolving network of people and knowledge. The result is a system that can recommend the right individual or item of knowledge to the right person at the right time.

Harold Jarche, in his critique of Steve Flinn’s Learning Layer commented,  “The key difficulty I see in the implementation of a learning layer is getting people to use it. As a layer, it is not integrated into the work tools. Even if socially aware systems collect and analyze data and feed these into the learning layer, the layer has to be used by people.”

Tools can only capture what people share.  Sharing needs to be an enculturated process.  If you embed learning into the organisation,  people who want to do their work well, feel incentivised to participate in learning and sharing. Then, you grow a sustainable culture, with people who feel accountable about how they deliver their work.

Learning is always going to be human centric. If you are not enculturing learning in a way that is accessible, participatory, rewarding and sharable; the vision will remain a vision.

Bandura’s social cognitive theory emphasizes the role of observational learning and social experience as significant in building cultural norms. Without creating a culture where learning, sharing and mutual accountability is fundamental, and valued, how can social learning be effectively implemented,  measured or sustained?